DOGE – Department of Government Efficiency (Official Towel)

Welcome to the Department of Government Efficiency — where every dollar is accounted for… and then immediately lost. 💸

This towel isn’t just soft — it’s fiscally irresponsible.
Crafted by shadow contractors, approved by nobody, and allegedly used in 17 embezzlement schemes.

Whether you’re:

• 🏖️ Drying off after laundering money (figuratively)

• 🧼 Wiping down after a “private meeting” with lobbyists

• 📉 Or just covering up the consequences of federal spending...

This towel’s got your (offshore) back.

Features:

• Gold text that screams “your taxes paid for this”

• Soft enough to file as a mental health expense

• Rumored to be found in Epstein’s laundry room 👀

Buy now before it’s subpoenaed.
DOGE – Because we care. (About funding our vacation homes.)